Lorelei

The title of my blog is Lorelei. One of the German legends says Lorelei is a woman who threw herself into the Rhine river distraught over a faithless lover. When she died, she transformed into a siren and could from then on be heard singing from a rock along the Rhine river near St. Goar, Germany. Her singing lured the sailors to their death in the treacherous waters near the rock. Lorelei is also the name of the rock and means "murmuring rock" in German.

Another legend is that Lorelei is one of the Rhine Maidens who live in the Rhine and lure the sailors onto the rocks. My friend David has a picture on his wall of the Rhine maidens that I have always loved and I didn't realize that was Lorelei until I just looked it up now on the web.

I had wanted to go to Hawaii for many years and finally did go with a group of women several years ago. We saw many wonderful sites including the actual flow of lava on the Big Island, which was a highlight for me. One night, we gathered in a circle and asked for a special name to come for each one of us. Lorelei is the special name that came to me. I thought about changing my name at the time, but that didn't feel right. When I decided to do this blog, Lorelei seemed like the perfect name.
Of course, I do not see myself as someone who lures men to their death. But, the name resonates with me. I have always loved legends and folklore and I love to sing as well--although I haven't sung in a long time. One of my favorite times in life used to be getting up early to sing in high school. I was a member of the early morning chorus and I would arrive an hour before school started and sing my heart out. I remember the beautiful view from the third floor windows of University City High School. in St. Louis, Missouri. And then of course, I loved to be in the high school musicals. I was in the chorus of "Kiss Me Kate" and I was Charity in the musical "Sweet Charity".

I don't know if I would have gotten the role if my best friend Becky Heaton had not moved away our senior year.

She was a better singer. But, she did move away and I got the role. It did wonders for my self confidence and not just with singing. I had not dated yet and acting the part of a prostitute really allowed me to get in touch with my sexuality in a safe way. I had my first kiss in that musical. I had to kiss him sitting down because I was at least five inches taller than him. His name was Michael and I remember the look his girlfriend Jana gave me (she was singing in the chorus) when I kissed him. It is indelibly etched in my mind.

When I moved to Ashland, Oregon at 23 years old, I sang in a band called "The Aimless, Nameless Jug Band". I was working in a bar owned by my now dear friend Taya. One night we decided to form a band with the people working there and we had the patrons in the bar vote on the name. People proposed different names and the name that got the loudest cheers won. I love this picture of me singing because you can see the true joy that is coming from my being.
I also used to sing for our business functions. We could not afford entertainment so we would use local talent. I remember one time I sang the "Star Spangled Banner" and I could not make the high notes. It was embarrassing. I did not sing again on stage after that. Somehow, I stopped singing any other time as well. I had no "reason" to sing so I just didn't do it.

I saw the two part show on Oprah where she interviewed Whitney Houston on Monday and Tuesday of this week. It was one of my favorite interviews ever because there was such love between them. The tabloids are big on reporting on Whitney's discussion about drugs, abuse from her husband, etc. But, what moved me was the love. What shined through was Whitney's love for herself and for the higher power within her and their love for each other--Oprah and Whitney. It was different from many interviews I see where there is this antagonism or one-upmanship that often happens. I saw Serena Williams being interviewed on Good Morning America the other day and he was so rude to her. He kept coming back again and again to the one time she lost her temper on the court like the rest of her career was nothing in comparison. There was no love or compassion there. There wasn't even any curiosity. This interview, however, with Whitney and Oprah was special. They both said that the morning of the interview they prayed to be a vessel for the best possible outcome. Whitney told Oprah after the interview that she would not be telling the story again to anyone. She trusted and loved Oprah and this was the only interview she would give. She is leaving the past now and moving on. Smart woman.

During the interview, Oprah asked Whitney about her voice. She said that her singing voice has been called the "National Treasure" and many people felt she did not have the right to keep the national treasure hidden away all these years. (She has not recorded a new album since 2002). Whitney said she was trying to make herself smaller or "less famous" for many years so that her husband would not be jealous. She did not have a desire to sing for a long time. She thought she had done it all and her career was finished. She has now realized that is not true. She sang with such joy and abandon at the end of the show yesterday that it gave me goosebumps.

I realize I am no Whitney Houston, but that does not mean that I have to stop singing. In its own way my singing voice is a treasure--to me. Singing brings me joy and that is enough.

Comments

[Eva keil Landers]

Hi Laurie, I remember the play too. Our father used to call anything (esp food) that he was unsure of "Lorelei" and he was from Germany.

[marilyn probe]

I celebrated the first day of Fall with a walk in the nearby woods, taking home 5 oak leaves on one stem, a star with 2 acorn caps, saw only in--town birds, crows and robins, and searched family albums for photos of golden leaves and found only faces.

The first day of fall brings a reunion of the past with my daughter Laurie Jacobvitz’s Facebook and blog for all to see. I’m enriched and sad to see the sun of her life from an angle I never knew. why the buffalo river was her favorite to float--her canoeing mentor who risked teaching her to stern at perhaps 13 or 14 on the white water rapids of the river I found the scariest of all the Ozark rivers I floated and I watched fall on the Current River on PBS, the soothing waters where I wish to be. So a reunion with my daughter. How she was close to and loved both her grandmas', each giving her a love of art, history and stability and I responded with a write how I was Ruth to my mother-in-law’s Naomi. I adored my mother-in-law Eve. Sad that I do not have the relationship with my grandchildren that Laurie had with her grandparents, but so glad she did and remembers them with such fondness and perception. And I feel so proud that I had the belief that it takes a whole village to raise a child and encouraged my children to become close with other adults, not just grandparents. So glad I encouraged Laurie to join American Youth Hostel at twelve as she approached 6 ft in her early teens, thin, before she joined with her wonderful gang in high school, before she was the star of Sweet Charity and received her first kiss on stage at sixteen. I am blessed today to have one of her gang as my family doctor.

And as i write I got this idea, Laurie has resumed singing with her lyrical voice, a gift of her father and the Cantors on my side of the family. I’ll ask her to cut a CD for her father and me.

[marilyn probe]

Hi Laurie,

I remember when you broke your leg and I flew to Mizzou on the next plane. And your friend on drugs, the mother of the baby who you were carrying and who landed on the car hood was all black and blue and in violation of hospital policy, I got the nurses to allow me to carry the baby down to see you, so you would know that the baby's skin was clear and the baby was in good health. I also remember how you said, you found out how loved you were as so many friends came to see you and let you know how much they cared for you and the same is true today. This morning when I pray for you as I pray for my family and friends, I will image you as solidly grounded. Tonight Karla joins me at Yom Kippur Services at CRC.

Marilyn