Grateful To Be Alive

I called the doctor's office on Friday.  I couldn't bear the thought of going through the weekend not knowing the results.  The woman who answered the phone looked in the fax machine and told me the cancer was all gone.  They got it all out.  I asked her if that was it and she said that is it. I go back to get my stitches out in two weeks and I am done.  Wow.

I could have died, but they caught it early so I am not dying yet.  Time to go back to a normal life.  Funny thing is I feel differently than I did before.

The amaryllis flowers in my office are so beautiful that they take my breath away.  I sit staring at them in wonder.

I sit outside in the sun marveling at the beauty of the day.  I feel the wind on my face caressing my cheeks and I focus on breathing in the air.  It smells so sweet.  The grass beneath my feet feels spongy and squishy as my toes curl into it. 

I drive home from work and gape at the sunset.  There is so much I have taken for granted that I am overwhelmed.  I have been so lost in thought in my own little world that I have not appreciated all that I have just living on this beautiful planet.

My sister sent me this beautiful CD to help people heal.  I listened to it lying in bed and chills ran through me.  I lay there entranced.

I made a blackberry crisp and let the vanilla ice cream melt over the top.  The blackberries were so big and juicy and it tasted so good.  I got every last bite and then I licked the bowl.

I thanked God many times, but it doesn't seem enough the say thank you.  What else can I do?

Is there something more I need to do to be of service, to help others, to be more compassionate, more loving, to make more of a difference in the world?  I am not sure, but that is one question I want to ask.  Maybe I will get an answer.

 

One thing I am committed to is telling people to learn how to check their skin and go into their doctor for regular skin check ups.  The above video educates you on how to check your skin for early, curable melanoma.  Both my children have agreed to get checked.

Sometimes, I forget to be grateful and slip into my old ways.  I remind myself that I am alive and I caught the cancer early and that is enough of a miracle to be grateful for--for a long, long time.

 

Comments

[Rosalyn Lueck-Mammen]

Lori- Thanks so much for the post, especially the video. Moles are a big issue for me and I usually go to the dermatologist once a year to get my skin tags removed and have anything questionable checked. Now, I feel a little more capable of evaluating the moles in between those visits. Inside the mouth? Really? Wow.
Another thing to remember is to be careful to use sunscreen! My arms have funny mottling which is pre-cancerous- from all those years of not worrying about the sun as a dark-haired kid with fairly dark skin. Anyway, thanks for your blog and good health to you! Roz